fear
going to the doctor today to talk about my weight problems. Am NOT looking forward to it. It is one of those things you need to do but postpone indefinitely until you just have to. I was in a good flow last fall. I know what to do to lose weight. I have all the knowledge I need, and yet it is so incredibly hard.Last fall I was doing most things right for some months. I lost 20-25 pounds and was really pleased with myself. I was generally just happy last fall. Then my gf breaks up with me and my life goes in a downward spiral.
I start questioning everything, analyzing every conversation we had for the past month that I could remember. Ive been analyzing everything for the past 11 months and I still don't understand half of it. but I have at least accepted now that I probably never will understand - she had her own reasons and I need to accept that.
So this thing today - going to the doctor to get help is my first step back on track I guess. It is me moving on finally. But I just hate talking about my weight problems. It gives me anxieties. And I have hardly slept all night. I have a stress headache that won't go away. Ofc it doesn't help that I hate being the center of attention, and Im going to spend two hours with doctors and specialists today. *sighs*
Wish me luck!
posted by Nerdine @ 9:54 AM
Comments: 0
